Authenticity and the True Power of Vulnerability
The other day, on Facebook, someone asked, “How can you be more authentic?”
My response was, “Authenticity begins and ends with vulnerability. Vulnerability is when you willingly and knowingly put your heart on a chopping block and give another being the cleaver. It is easy to say one is authentic when there is no risk. True authenticity requires risk.”
I thought I’d elaborate further in this post.
Authenticity, often lauded as a sign of integrity and sincerity, finds its roots not in a superficial display of mere truth but in the profound depths of vulnerability. At its core, authenticity begins and ends with vulnerability. It is not simply the appearance of honesty or a fleeting gesture of truthfulness but demands the unshielded, open-hearted courage to be oneself despite the potential for pain or judgment. Vulnerability is the ultimate test of authenticity; metaphorically, it is to place one’s heart on the chopping block and hand over the cleaver to another person, hoping that they treat it with reverence but not knowing if that will be the outcome.
Vulnerability is akin to standing at the edge of a cliff, where the wind howls with uncertainty and the abyss of potential rejection calls out with its threats, and yet still choosing to dance on this edge. It is to recognize the possibility of falling, of heartbreak, of being misunderstood, and still choosing to lay one’s soul bare. Authenticity is not merely about being “real” when it feels safe; it is about being real in the face of potential harm. It's about taking the risk to connect more deeply with one another.
In this world that seems to value surface appearance over the tenderness of our spirit, the concept of authenticity without risk has become the hollow norm. It is easy to say, "I am authentic," when there are no stakes, no challenges, and no fears to confront- but authenticity withers in such sheltered circumstances. True authenticity shines brightest against the backdrop of the full emotional range of our being. Authenticity is validated by the risks it undertakes to allow another to deeply connect with us.
Imagine the following situations we face in our daily lives:
1. Sharing a controversial opinion in a setting where everyone may think differently than you.
2. Admitting one's mistakes, foibles, struggles, and failures rather than just smiling and putting on a happy face.
3. Disclosing a personal struggle or pain to someone who you don’t know will empathize with you.
In all these situations, the common throughline is vulnerability. Of course, the possibility of ridicule, backlash, or apathy exists. But it is only in these moments when we step into our truth, however imperfect, and allow another to really feel our humanity that authenticity is birthed. It is only in these moments that our deepest, longed-for connection with another human can blossom.
In its essence, vulnerability is deeply human, for to be human is to be fragile, emotional, and flawed. Yet, when we can reveal these human traits with intention and in the face of potential judgment, they become the foundation on which our authenticity stands.
Brené Brown, in her exploration of vulnerability, asserts that only in our vulnerability can we find joy, love, belonging, creativity, and courage. Vulnerability isn't merely the gatekeeper of authenticity; it's also the gateway to the profundity of the human experience. The risks we take in vulnerability are the only path to genuine self-awareness, deeper connections, and a sense of purpose that cannot exist under the mask of superficiality.
The payoff here is that true authenticity, one that is built on vulnerability, invites others to be authentic in return. When one person lays bare their being, it provides space for another to do the same. Vulnerability begets vulnerability. In this social medial world that too often has us wearing masks of perfection, a single act of genuine vulnerability can inspire authenticity in countless others.
However, embracing vulnerability and authenticity is not to be conflated with recklessness or being an ass. It does not mean baring one's soul to anyone in any circumstance or disregarding personal boundaries and tact. It means discerning when, where, and with whom to be vulnerable. It's about taking deliberate risks, understanding the impact of our truth, and being brave enough to share these truths despite the potential outcomes.
In conclusion, authenticity cannot be reduced to mere words or actions in isolation. Authenticity is a way of being that demands vulnerability at the risk of pain, judgment, and exposure. But within this risk lies the healing magic of genuine human connection, personal growth, and the joy of living a life true to oneself and finding our tribe. Without risk, a claim of authenticity becomes just another mask. However, only when we allow ourselves to be seen as the imperfect humans that we all, in fact, are that authenticity shines brightest.
The greatest honor of my work with others is to share space with them in expanded states of consciousness, where the masks fully come down- laughing together, crying together, and remembering again together what a gift it is to be imperfect and real, sharing in this human experience.